Marseille

Blablacar.fr. GENIUS. I got int he car with some stranger who drove me from Nice to a new city and omg it was awesome. Thankfully I speak the language and I had someone waiting for me at my destination so it was a little less stressful, but it is great. Online, you check from which city you’re taking off from tonwhere you want to end up and you car pool. As a traveller lemme just say you save a f***ton. 
So I left beautiful, clean, sunny Nice and took off for Marseille. Now don’t get me wrong, I hit up the beach, walked along the boardwalk and visited the harbour but mehhhh. It was a busy, dirty city. I guess after I was so spoiled in Nice I was a little bit on my high horse as well. Thanks not to say I didn’t enjoy myself though! Met up with a friend from home which was comforting. Got to be in a real bed with a kitchen and get my laundry done. Got to lay my crap around and not worry about putting all back in that damn bag and locking it up. 
✨when backpacking DO NOT use a bag with a top zipper, worst mistake I made. Even if there’s one on top and one at the bottom you have to empty all your stuff out because of course what you need is in the middle. No no. Get a bag that zips all around the front. What can I say, we live and learn.✨
My friend had recently moved to the area so we got to explore together, we beached, shopped for furniture, partied up a storm. It was an awesome weekend. Really cool to be able to meet up with someone from home 6000km away!

Best decision I could have made

So this is where my story starts. I guess much like many girls it starts with a guy. “Lets work on us.” Fine, I’m a romantic. Why not. Quit my job of ten years and moved across the country for a guy. Well that didn’t work out. Took three months for me to crack and have him move into the guest room, and another 2 for him to decide Alberta wasn’t for him. If you can believe it, he called me at work to tell me he’d head back to the east coast sometime soon but not sure of the date yet. Three days later he was packed and gone. A nine year relationship ended like that. With me in a small country town surrounded by cows all by myself because of a decision I made to follow a guy across the country.
I was livid. Hurt. I couldn’t understand how someone who was supposed to love me more than anything could desert me so easily. I started to believe that I didn’t matter, that I wasn’t important. Don’t get me wrong, I make friends easily and I have many close friends, but everyone has their own lives and it’s not easy for me to show vulnerability and depend on another person. I made promises at work giving them a year, and well back in Montreal everyone had made bets about how long I’d last out in the middle of nowhere ranging from 2 weeks to 6 months, I wasn’t about to cop out and prove them right! 

So I stuck out the year alone, once it was over it was done though. I realized that as much pain as I had gone through (and was still living through) I was free. I didn’t have any obligations tying me to Canada. For once in my life I didn’t have to run back to The motherland for work or for my boyfriend. I took the money I saved, drove across the country back to Montreal, spent the summer partying, going to music festivals , eating, hanging with friends then bought a ticket across the pond.

Best decision I could have made.

Amnesia Rockfest 2016!

Sex. 


Sex. That’s all it is. That’s how it started and that’s what we continued to do. 

First eye contact in the bar, the vibe, the first thought, sex. It happened. It was fun. Then it ended up lasting longer than the one night. Now don’t get me wrong, one night stands are easy and bed buddies are fun but there has to be a certain amount of respect thrown into the mix. I mean one night stands are exhilirating because of the excitement, the lust, the build up. Bed buddies are a little more interesting because of the freedom you have to experiment. And experimenting has been aweeeesome these last few weeks, but the respect on the other end of the relationship is starting to dwindle. I’m not the one that has slept with other people throughout the last few weeks. I’ve slept with no one but him, yet I’m being called the little slut? Because I had sex with him even though we weren’t together? Because of the things I’ve been willing to try with him? By telling him I’m not a slut and it’s not nice to say that and jokingly saying ” I’m not going to continue sleeping with you if you keep calling me one” gets a “Fine, your loss not mine. I’ll find someone else.” Fuck that noise and that double standard.

Women should feel empowered. They should be able to take their sexuality into their hands. Sex is amazing. It’s good for the body and it’s good for the spirit as long as both parties respect each other. Physically it just feels good, it helps relieve stress while also releasing endorphins which tie into your emotional state. No one is talking about lovey dovey emotions here, just that even if it isn’t a long term thing the intimacy can be nice and it can feel empowering knowing how strongly you can affect a man (or woman) when you see the lust in his/her eyes. Why not be able to indulge? Why should women be judged for having sex without the ring while men are getting high fived for it?

Turn it off. Turn off the need of his approval. Do what makes you feel good. He doesn’t want to respect me? Fine I’ll use him too. I’ll use him for my own sexual wants and needs. I’ll use him to experiment. Honestly I’ve always been one night stand kinda gal because I’ve always been too shy sexually to have to face the guy again. Not knowing what I’m doing right or wrong? What he likes, what he doesn’t? What if I suck at this?! And I don’t mean in the under-the-belt kinda way. Well I guess after sleeping with this guy multiple times a day for over a month, if he doesn’t have respect for me by now, I ain’t gaining it any time soon. So why not use this as a learning opportunity?

Ladies I’m not ranting about feminism here, equality and blah blah blah. Just empowerment. Feel good about who you are and the situations you put yourself in. Life is about choices; which situations you want to flee from, which to deal with and how you choose to handle them. Do what you gotta do to make yourself happy.

“You’re making a mistake. Youth is wasted on the young.”

To hell with that! I’m seizing my youth. I think that I have been very privileged to have been able to have the courage to put myself in foreign situations. 
I spend my days hearing that one day I’ll understand that I’ve wasted my time. That I’ll get old and have no possessions to my name and realize that it’s too late and I should have spent my youth building my future.

No! I love my life. I think by travelling I building who I am today. I may not have a lot of possessions, but do possessions make you rich? Nah, I’m not interested in not having stories to tell when I’m old, I’m not interested in living my life for things I could buy in the future.

I feel very lucky to have been able to travel everywhere I’ve gone and to have met the people that have forever left their marks on me. Through my travels I have been able to learn about what makes people from different cultures happy. I’ve taken the lessons from others and been able to apply them to my life. I’ve been able to open my eyes to other people and learn to accept everyone without judgement. Everyone has a different way of living, a different path and a different approach to how they want to live their life. I want to live mine being happy every day. I think the easiest way to achieve that is to live a minimalist lifestyle. I don’t need much to make me happy. I understand that everyone has bad moments, but I believe that every day you should feel happiness and peace at some point. In North America I feel as though people don’t see life that way. Everyone is always working towards the next big thing wether it be a new house, car, position at work. People are always living for their futures yet not enjoying the moments that matter. The ones that they are living now and the people that they share them with. I agree that goals are important, but the people I’ve been surrounded by in Canada are never accepting of their present state. Why work 51 months just to wind down with a 7 day vacation? How are you bettering yourself as a person by saving money to buy a house? I believe that the most important parts of life are when you are opening your heart to others. And I feel like I’ve managed to do that through travel.
I feel as though Canada may not be for me. I feel very anxious when I’m there, and materialistic. I think it’s a very selfish way to live and I don’t want to put myself in a position in life that I don’t respect. So far I feel as though I relate with the culture in Europe. It’s a place where they enjoy the small moments. Spending time with friends and family. Talking about life without gossiping. Travelling. Taking care of each other.

Thanks to my years travelling I’ve managed to create an international network. I have friends and opportunities in so many different countries. I might not have gotten these opportunities through a university program, but I’ve gained so much experience because of the way I’ve chosen to live my life. I’m opened to people and their ideas. Even if I may not agree with everyone’s ideas I want to learn their thoughts. There isn’t a right or wrong way to live life, just different ways; different choices on how to handle situations. Hearing how others view situations has taught me how to take a step back and consider different possibilities on how to let it affect me.

I can say with complete surety that I am still learning about who I am, but I think I am a good person. I think I’m positive and have a good energy that touches the people around me. I’ve had many people thank me for just being me, because after speaking with me they found courage to leave their comfort zones. Others just thank me for my energy, for being a light of positivity. That’s the most amazing feeling. I don’t think there is anything more powerful than being able to make the people around you feel empowered and happy.

I truly believe that you can do no wrong when you’re in an environment that you love.
I am so happy with where I am in my life right now. I feel as ease, comfortable, safe, happy, serene. Recently I’ve been surrounded by such beautiful souls, and I believe that is so much more important than the number in my bank account or whatever possession I could have had.

Few last words – fuck them all, buy the plane ticket.